That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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