No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Sober January is a disaster.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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