I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
