you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
