He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
