If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
