so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
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