So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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