he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize