Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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