He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
