the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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