i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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