I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
