i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
