I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize