its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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