we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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