She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
