went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
