Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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