Pappa wants mamma naked
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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