as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
