Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
