No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize