Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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