is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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