If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Alive.
So much puke
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
