I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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