thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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