you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize