in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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