They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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