So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
