I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
