Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
