Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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