I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
