Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
