we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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