Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize