The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Text me some of your sweat
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