do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
