whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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