That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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