Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
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The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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