We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize