actually, I'm a sock model
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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