Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
