Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Swine flu. Run for my life!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
