shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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