its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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