her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.