It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
