He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
