dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
